Tuesday, May 1, 2012

New Mindset

Has a child growing up, I didn't believe there was anyone as shy as I was. What made trying to be myself so difficult were the strange faces people gave me when I spoke. I thought I was an alien or I was placed in the wrong side of the world. That insecure and pessimistic puppet lived in me, he controlled me, and I believed I was nothing.

November 07'
Being me was never easy, opening up, letting go, was never an option.  
A closed box in the dusty dark tower
arising, waiting, taunting
for light.
Being me was never easy, a box in a corner begging for a new routine,
wondering if this is for real.
My nightmares are in reality, my daydreams an unopened 
closet which hates me everyday.
No thought of joy or peace in here,
NO.
No joy in a box
No joy being me and it will never be easy 
No never
for 
me
When I look back there's one thing I would have changed, one important thing. That my father was never a slave to alcoholism but then again I believe his mistakes have made him a better man and a better father. I now believe that everything happens for a reason, everything has a purpose and we all have a destiny. I appreciate how the trees toil and smile in the burning sun. I appreciate how the clouds don't try has hard to get our attention. I appreciate who I have become and not who I could have become. I appreciate life, faith and hope. I appreciate integrity, thank you for a new mindset.

Written by Blue_Gurl

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